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How Proust Can Change Your Life Paperback – April 28, 1998
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Alain de Botton combines two unlikely genres—literary biography and self-help manual—in the hilarious and unexpectedly practical How Proust Can Change Your Life.
Who would have thought that Marcel Proust, one of the most important writers of our century, could provide us with such a rich source of insight into how best to live life? Proust understood that the essence and value of life was the sum of its everyday parts. As relevant today as they were at the turn of the century, Proust's life and work are transformed here into a no-nonsense guide to, among other things, enjoying your vacation, reviving a relationship, achieving original and unclichéd articulation, being a good host, recognizing love, and understanding why you should never sleep with someone on a first date. It took de Botton to find the inspirational in Proust's essays, letters and fiction and, perhaps even more surprising, to draw out a vivid and clarifying portrait of the master from between the lines of his work.
Here is Proust as we have never seen or read him before: witty, intelligent, pragmatic. He might well change your life.
- Print length208 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherVintage
- Publication dateApril 28, 1998
- Dimensions5.16 x 0.56 x 7.98 inches
- ISBN-100679779159
- ISBN-13978-0679779155
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"One of my favorite books of the year.... Seriously cheeky, cheekily serious." —Julian Barnes
"Curious, humorous, didactic, and dazzling.... It contains more human interest and play of fancy than most fiction." —John Updike, The New Yorker
"A witty, elegant book that helps us learn what reading is for." —Doris Lessing
"A wonderful meditation on aspects of Proust in the form of a self-help book. Very enjoyable." —Sebastian Faulks
"Funny and very refreshing." —San Francisco Chronicle
From the Inside Flap
Who would have thought that Marcel Proust, one of the most important writers of our century, could provide us with such a rich source of insight into how best to live life? Proust understood that the essence and value of life was the sum of its everyday parts. As relevant today as they were at the turn of the century, Proust's life and work are transformed here into a no-nonsense guide to, among other things, enjoying your vacation, reviving a relationship, achieving original and unclichéd articulation, being a good host, recognizing love, and understanding why you should never sleep with someone on a first date. It took de Botton to find the inspirational in Proust's essays, letters and fiction and, perhaps even more surprising, to draw out a vivid and clarifying portrait of the master from between the lines of his work.
Here is Proust as we have never seen or read him before: witty, intelligent, pragmatic. He might well change your life.
From the Back Cover
Who would have thought that Marcel Proust, one of the most important writers of our century, could provide us with such a rich source of insight into how best to live life? Proust understood that the essence and value of life was the sum of its everyday parts. As relevant today as they were at the turn of the century, Proust's life and work are transformed here into a no-nonsense guide to, among other things, enjoying your vacation, reviving a relationship, achieving original and uncliched articulation, being a good host, recognizing love, and understanding why you should never sleep with someone on a first date. It took de Botton to find the inspirational in Proust's essays, letters and fiction and, perhaps even more surprising, to draw out a vivid and clarifying portrait of the master from between the lines of his work.
Here is Proust as we have never seen or read him before: witty, intelligent, pragmatic. He might well change your life.
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Q: Did Proust have any relevant thoughts on dating? What should one talk about on a first date?
A: Advice is scant. A more fundamental doubt is whether one should accept dinner in the first place.
There is no doubt that a person's charms are less frequently a cause of love than a remark such as: "No, this evening I shan't be free."
If this response proves bewitching, it is because of the connection made...between appreciation and absence. Though a person may be filled with attributes, an incentive is nevertheless required to ensure that a seducer will focus wholeheartedly on these, an incentive which finds perfect form in
a dinner rebuff.
Q: Was he against sex before marriage?
A: No, just before love. And not for any starchy reasons, simply because he felt it wasn't a good idea to sleep together when encouraging someone to fall in love was a consideration.
Women who are to some extent resistant, whom one cannot possess at once, whom one does not even know at first whether one will ever possess, are the only interesting ones.
Q: Surely not?
A: Other women may of course be fascinating, the problem is that they risk not seeming so...
Q: Are there any secrets to long-lasting relationships?
A: Infidelity. Not the act itself, but the threat of it. For Proust, an injection of jealousy is the only thing capable of rescuing a relationship ruined by habit...The threat of losing their partner
may lead them to realize that they have not appreciated this person adequately...If someone threatens the relationship, they get jealous, wake up for a moment, have another kiss with the horny tusk, and get bored once more. Condensed into a male heterosexual version, the situation runs
like this:
Afraid of losing her, we forget all the others. Sure of keeping her, we compare her with the those others whom at once we prefer to her.
Product details
- Publisher : Vintage; First Edition (April 28, 1998)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 208 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0679779159
- ISBN-13 : 978-0679779155
- Item Weight : 7.2 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.16 x 0.56 x 7.98 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #193,887 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #49 in French Literary Criticism (Books)
- #98 in French Literature (Books)
- #470 in Literary Criticism & Theory
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Alain de Botton is the author of Essays in Love (1993), The Romantic Movement (1994), Kiss and Tell (1995), How Proust can Change your Life (1997), The Consolations of Philosophy (2000) The Art of Travel (2002), Status Anxiety (2004) and most recently, The Architecture of Happiness (2006).
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Customers find the book interesting and enlightening. They describe it as an enjoyable read with a captivating writing style. The author writes with clarity, concision, and wit. Readers appreciate the insightful discussion of Proust's views on life and creativity. Overall, they consider the book approachable and happy.
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Customers find the book thought-provoking and engaging. They appreciate the insightful discussion of Proust's views on life and how to live it well. The book is described as an intelligent and entertaining companion to In Search of Lost Time.
"...If you've read any of de Botton's other books, then you know he's intelligent, informed, cocky, irreverent and witty. Really an entertaining writer...." Read more
"...from it being visually attractive, is that it gathers together a lot of interesting Proust quotes that had gone right by me when I read Proust...." Read more
"...I thoroughly enjoyed Alain's musings, humor, insights, and overall point of view - not the least of which is how he conveys in his wonderful writing..." Read more
"...It was refreshing as it's philosophy based, so of course nothing's cut and dry." Read more
Customers find the book engaging and enjoyable. They describe it as an interesting read that provokes introspection. The writing is described as delightful and erudite, providing insight into Proust's life and writings. Readers appreciate the straightforward guide to enjoying vacations and reviving relationships.
"...The book is meant to be fun, so take it for what it is. I'm glad I made time to read it." Read more
"...Botton is a clever writer and intelligent analyst, quite enjoyable. So why 4 stars? Because he's not THAT good, lol." Read more
"Again another recommendation from the Tim Ferriss podcast. It's an interesting read and provokes a massive amount of introspection...." Read more
"...for what it is, which, to me, seemed to be an accessible, profoundly enjoyable commentary on what de Botton had observed of Proust's life...." Read more
Customers find the book's writing style engaging and insightful. They describe it as readable and accessible, providing background and literary criticism. The author expresses ideas clearly and avoids clichés.
"...with plenty of illustrations and blank spaces, it's no substitute for reading Proust, and it's not intended as a scholarly monograph...." Read more
"...Botton is a clever writer and intelligent analyst, quite enjoyable. So why 4 stars? Because he's not THAT good, lol." Read more
"...point of view - not the least of which is how he conveys in his wonderful writing style...." Read more
"...from de Botton's discussion of the avoidance of cliche, of expressing yourself clearly, of NOT letting a great work of literature (or art, or music)..." Read more
Customers enjoy the author's witty writing style. They appreciate the humorous remarks and comparisons. The book is described as entertaining and well-written.
"...'s other books, then you know he's intelligent, informed, cocky, irreverent and witty. Really an entertaining writer...." Read more
"...aside." And in between I thoroughly enjoyed Alain's musings, humor, insights, and overall point of view - not the least of which is how he..." Read more
"...De Botton writes with clarity, concision, and wit...." Read more
"What a sweet, witty book!..." Read more
Customers find the book's insights helpful for modern life and appreciating Proust's world. They appreciate the author's straightforward advice and simple guidance that resonates with them.
"This is probably the most approachable and happiest work on Proust ever written...." Read more
"...Simple advice but the message speaks to a much large theme that we all could benefit from...." Read more
"...of analysis of Proust is a gem for modern life -- and a guide to appreciating Proust's world as well...." Read more
"...And, then surprise! Discovered this book. An entire book on Proust! What a Joy! Mr. De Button is a philosopher...." Read more
Customers enjoy the book's art. They find it helps them gain perspective and appreciate their originality. The book is interesting, with plenty of illustrations and blank spaces.
"...At only 200 pages, with plenty of illustrations and blank spaces, it's no substitute for reading Proust, and it's not intended as a scholarly..." Read more
"What I liked about this book, aside from it being visually attractive, is that it gathers together a lot of interesting Proust quotes that had gone..." Read more
"...Note the beauty in the every day, and acknowledge the irony that one is never more alive or aware of life as when one's own health is threatened by..." Read more
"Enjoyed this. De Botton has an extremely unique lens with which he shares his observations ...." Read more
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on January 27, 2009This is probably the most approachable and happiest work on Proust ever written. It's a small book and easy to read, yet holds some nice surprises and insights. Some of the harsher reviews, I think, find fault with it for not being what it was never meant to be.
At only 200 pages, with plenty of illustrations and blank spaces, it's no substitute for reading Proust, and it's not intended as a scholarly monograph. A few found the title deceptive, and were disappointed to discover it is not a self-help book.
If you've read any of de Botton's other books, then you know he's intelligent, informed, cocky, irreverent and witty. Really an entertaining writer. He's also conceited, and probably speaks better French than most of his readers, which is always enraging, and if anyone wants to give him a one-star for that, I can certainly understand it.
If you have a somber veneration for Proust, believe me, de Botton's flippant style is going to make you reach for the anti-acid tablets. Still, there is an absurd side to Proust's life, as Proust himself saw, and to be fair, de Botton reminds the reader, that as in the case of the artist Elstir, it was Proust's whole life, the grotesque as well as the sublime, that brought his art to bloom.
Despite his flashy erudition de Botton makes grammar errors that would have sent Proust to Cabourg for his nerves. After awhile you wonder if the author doesn't purposely salt those in now and then just to give the book "sprezzatura" -- a kind of artistic nonchalance.
I've read Proust, and about Proust, more than I have any author but Dickens, and I still found much I didn't know, lots of it trivia (Proust's phone nunber) but also fresh thoughts and new ways of looking at Proust's life and work. The book is meant to be fun, so take it for what it is. I'm glad I made time to read it.
- Reviewed in the United States on September 24, 2024What I liked about this book, aside from it being visually attractive, is that it gathers together a lot of interesting Proust quotes that had gone right by me when I read Proust. Botton is a clever writer and intelligent analyst, quite enjoyable. So why 4 stars? Because he's not THAT good, lol.
- Reviewed in the United States on June 17, 2015Alain had me at "There are few things humans are more dedicated to than unhappiness," i.e. the first sentence. So pardon as I'm not really a Proust reader but merely one of those bourgeoise readers who stumbled on this book from a favorite blogger via one of the many rat-holes of the internet. The last sentence I found equally delightful: "Even the finest books deserve to be thrown aside." And in between I thoroughly enjoyed Alain's musings, humor, insights, and overall point of view - not the least of which is how he conveys in his wonderful writing style.
I'm now onto another book by de Botton - "The Architecture of Happiness," after which it appears I'll be providing another 5 star review. :-)
- Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2016Again another recommendation from the Tim Ferriss podcast. It's an interesting read and provokes a massive amount of introspection. It was refreshing as it's philosophy based, so of course nothing's cut and dry.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 18, 2004I'm posting this on behalf of a friend:
The book has such wide application. I think I benefited particularly, as a "writer" of sorts, from de Botton's discussion of the avoidance of cliche, of expressing yourself clearly, of NOT letting a great work of literature (or art, or music) paralyze your own voice. Then there were echoes, too, in the part on suffering successfully with some of what Dr. Timothy Johnson covered in that book my mom sent me.
And perhaps because it's fresh in my brain, having read it just a matter of hours ago, I really enjoyed his assertion that there's folly in trying to soak up some sort of cosmic significance in monuments, historical sites, and other artifacts that artistic idolaters hold dear. How many times have I found myself at So-and-So's ancestral birthplace, or the site where Such-and-Such wrote his opus, and felt...absolutely nothing. Just a place. Just a house. And I always thought my lack of emotion was a consequence of my shallowness.
Granted, I didn't agree with all of de Botton's conclusions (a stance of which I think Proust would approve), and was somewhat taken aback with his notions on friendship--I mean, what if I really DO want to know whether my poetry stinks or not? And sometimes, I felt as if he was weaving elaborate Proustian examples in order to illustrate some pretty basic points.
But in all, even if de Botton didn't exactly change my life, I'm more prepared than ever to start "Swann's Way" and see if Proust can. (Seriously, I'm actually looking forward--with trepidation, mind you--to starting that thing. But the time! When will I find the time?!)
Top reviews from other countries
- Steve MReviewed in Canada on October 7, 2018
5.0 out of 5 stars De Botton and Proust where's my inhaler?
Lovely quiet narrative of a literary rock star living in the shadow of Father and brother .. devoid of sufficient testosterone levels and turn of the century dismissal of asthmatics. Both Proust and his predecessor Chopin would have tarried with us for many more decades had they been born in the last 50 years. De Botton has keen insight into talent and privilege I suspect his family had lofty ideas for his brilliance but alas he travails as a seafarer for us working class so that we can have someone articulate our delights and reflections.
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Client d'AmazonReviewed in Germany on January 25, 2018
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful, witty and well-written book containing some simple, but surprisingly powerful perspective-changing ideas
A wonderful, witty and well-written book containing some simple, but surprisingly powerful perspective-changing ideas based on Proust's writings. For example, in the very beginning, Proust shows us a way of looking at art: he had developed an interesting way to relate to the art objects in the museum. Every time he looked at old paintings he tried to match the person from the art piece with somebody that he knew. Suddenly, the person depicted on the wall seemed much more real. We start to understand that he/she could have had quite similar struggles to ours. It's no longer an ancient figure that we watch like a chimpanzee in a zoo, but a real human being.
I tried to use this technique and it really increased my awareness. The book is full of similar ideas.
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GurtleReviewed in the Netherlands on August 30, 2017
5.0 out of 5 stars Good read
I enjoyed reading this book. It changed my life for sure. Alain uses a whole arsenal of difficult words, but I guess that’s good for my vocabulary. Read it, you won’t regret it.
- Mattia DamaggioReviewed in Italy on January 25, 2017
5.0 out of 5 stars Alain de Botton: wise, smart, good and clear
Well written and easily readable book. Contains very interesting insights both applicable to the reading of Proust and to one's practical aspects of everyday life. I wish many more books could combine their usefulness with such clarity!
- Mr Abhijeet GuptaReviewed in Australia on June 23, 2018
5.0 out of 5 stars In defence of nostalgia
To those who consider nostalgia beneficial, often need to defend it against its detractors who advocate the usefulness of being in the present moment. This book will provide a useful insight as to why it is worthwhile to persist in the search of lost time, for as Socrates claimed, ‘the unexamined life is not worth living!’